I enjoy what I do at work. I don't always enjoy the poor attitudes that other people have and attempt to inflict on the rest of us, but I really do love writing and editing and getting paid to do it! Still, I have SO many moments where I look up at the photos of the kids and their artwork and sigh long, loud sighs. I'd much rather be a stay-at-home mom.
My stay-at-home mommy friends who are reading this are likely thinking, "No, you would not." Don't get me wrong. I realize that it's a ton of work to be a good stay-at-home mom, but it's also gotta be a ton of fun and SO much more rewarding. The amazing thing about children is that you can still pretty much "control" their attitudes. Whatever vibe I'm giving off is the same one they run with. Whenever they get a little sad, I can turn it around and make 'em happy -- no problem. Hard as I try (and some days, it's absolutely exhausting trying), I cannot seem to rub off positive mojo on some of my downright sullen, bitter, and pessimistic coworkers.
And, why don't I just do it? Quit my job and become a full-time stay-at-home mommy? After all, time is fast running out on this option. If I did it today, I'd get to stay home for only 2.5 years. The truth is: I've done the math a million times. No matter how I slice it, we just can't afford it. I wish we could. The only way it might be possible is if we moved to a much cheaper location, and Tim doesn't want to do that, and it's not exactly fair to ask him to. He loves it here and I have always known that. I love it too, although I miss family. But me staying home with the kids feels like it would be more for me than for the kids. Do I think the kids would be better off? Not necessarily. After all, I like to think I turned out just fine, and my mom worked. She read to me every night, and I make sure I do the same with my kids. So there will be no moving.
Hopefully I can learn to treat every day like a weekend. Instead of always feeling like I'm rushing the kids ("c'mon, c'mon, we're gonna be late!"), I can learn to slow down a bit and not worry incessantly about being late for work and then in the evenings worry about being late getting the kids to bed. I need to stop living for weekends and start living every day like it's a weekend. Of course, maybe being consistently late to work will get me fired...teehee. I don't even think it's possible to get fired from a government job. Oh well. There goes that master plan. ;)
3 comments:
I did get to be an at-home mom so did get to do all the fun things/not-so fun things too, like grocery shopping with the kids, etc. which can be a nightmare if you're not properly motivated. When I had to start working for a living, I would run home at lunch time and just putz around until time to go back. I loved my job but like you, wome of my co-worker's attitudes were really bad.
Yeah, I guess it is all just a matter of perspective, hunh? If I were home with them day in and day out, it probably would feel more like "work" and less like the weekend. :)
Yeah, Jane used to want to be back in work. She said she couldn't stand to be home all the time.
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