Where do I start?!

The kids have been particularly funny lately and with a new job, I'm having a tough time devoting the necessary time to blogging. I do, however, immediately type notes into my phone though, so here goes the transcribed list from this past week....

Yesterday, Gabe barged into the bathroom to take a leak while I was washing my hands and asked me this question while he was peeing: "Mom, how come boys have pepes and girls have cuchie-coos?" Although my first instinct was to want to correct him by saying "You mean penises and vulvas?," I instead responded by saying, "You know what, buddy? We should call your Bubbe and ask her what she thinks about that." He instantly asked, "Is that because Bubbe is smarter than you, Mom?" Oh, dang! Busted! haha! I said, "Well of course she is honey. My mommy will always be smarter than me just like I'll always be smarter than you." Touche, little man. teehee! I dialed up Mom's cell and when she answered, I announced that her grandson had a question for her and put him on. Not shy in the least, Gabe asked her his question, and I could hear Mom trying not to laugh as she said, "Well, Gabe, that's just because God wanted each of you to be special." Nicely done, Ma! Nanni, look out! Next question like that is headed your way! LOL!

In "baby-in-the-belly saga, part two," Fia announced that she does indeed have a baby in her belly. I asked if it was a boy or a girl, and she told me it's a boy. Gabe interrupted, "Now, wait a minute Fia. Do you have a baby in your belly because the baby was bad and that's why you had to eat the baby?" wtf? Seriously, HOW did I get such funny kids?

This morning on the way to school, I could not figure out what the heck the kids were doing, getting more and more excited and speaking what sounded like complete jibberish and howling with laughter as they "communicated" with one another. I was laughing, but not nearly as hard as I laughed when Tim asked me if I had heard that Gabe and Sofia now speak to each other in Tagalog. Our babysitter's parents speak Tagalog, and apparently, the kids think they too can speak the language. OMG, talk about funny!

Lately, Sofia watches me getting ready in the morning and says, "Mom, when I get bigga, I gonna get some of dis" (as she points to mascara or Neosporin or whatever object she feels like grabbing off the bathroom counter). This morning, she announced that when she gets bigga, she's gonna get contacts. Poor kid. She has no idea what she's saying. :) I keep telling her she can wear makeup when she's 16, so I about died when she informed me that she's gonna get a baby in her belly when she's 16. "NO WAY LITTLE MISS!" was my response. And she looked at me funny, contorted her nose and said, "When I get six-teee?" And I said, "NOW THAT's more like it!" LOL!

She also likes to point out random strangers, saying, "Hey, is she a mommy?" "Is he a grandpa?" I find her questions totally entertaining. Tim informed me tonight that she spotted a woman with a rather round bottom and said, "Dad, did you see her butt-butt?" We both laughed, wondering if Fia gave her the extra butt for having an extra-large butt. We need to figure out a way of politely curbing her new enthusiasm for strangers. :D

Gabe was eating too much candy from a goodybag the other day when I said, "Gabe, I don't want you to eat any more junk or you're going to get diarrhea out the yin-yang." Gabe replied, "What's a yin-yang Mom?" I said, "Oh, you know -- a yin-yang, a wazoo, a booty!" trying to make him laugh. He excitedly spouted off, "WHEN am I gonna get a WAZOO?"

And a couple sweet stories to end with:

Gabe, Tim, and I were holding hands at the park when Gabe asked again if he could get a baby brother. I think all Fia's baby talk has got him thinking. Tim said something about us having our hands full, which was a cute analogy, given that we were swinging each other's hands. Gabe retorted, "But Dad, I can hold my little brother's hand." Oh dang! One-upped again!

Sofia woke us all up at 3 am Saturday morning demanding that her father make her waffles. Tim is absolutely the world's most patient man because he said so sweetly to her that she needed to wait until the sun woke up before it was time to get up and eat breakfast. I don't think she actually went back to sleep. I know that for the next two hours, every 20 minutes or so, she asked again if Dad could make her waffles. Lord have mercy. If I had just a few more ounces of energy, I would've stumbled into her room to try to get some sleep, so I didn't have to hear any more talk about waffles. haha!

We were driving home from a playdate with some of Gabe's friends when we passed a homeless guy on the street holding a sign that said simply, "Hungry. God Bless." Gabe asked, "Mom, is that guy outside because he doesn't have a home?" I said, "That's right, honey. He's asking for some money so he can get something to eat." To which Gabe said, "And so he can buy a house?" I said, "Well, he probably really just wants something to eat right now." Gabe said, "But Mom, whose belly did he come out of? Why can't he just go to his mommy's house?" Ahhh, kids are so innocent and sweet. Man, I wish I could protect them from all the injustices of the world.