I just made a really difficult decision, and I hope I stick to it. You see, the kids are 6 and 4, and we still fall asleep most nights while cuddling with them. I read a book of Gabe's choice to him while Tim reads a book of Sofia's choice to her. We say, "lights out," and we cuddle for what we always say will be 5 minutes. Exhausted parents that we are, we usually pass out in under 3.
I usually wake up 20 minutes later, come downstairs and do chores. Tim usually ambles off to bed at some point, although occasionally he joins me and encourages me to do something fun, like watch TV with him (while I fold clothes). A mother's job is never done. :) When I have raised the issue in the past -- that the kids are probably too old to be snuggled with, Tim has argued. "But I love cuddling with them. And the day will come too soon when they don't want to cuddle with us anymore." That argument won me over for a long time.
But I'm too exhausted all the time. That 20-minute nap is all it takes for me to be up most of the night, and then it's a vicious cycle of running myself ragged. So tonight I informed the kids: no more cuddling. We will read, say "lights out," and we will leave. Gabe cried, which broke my heart. Sofia didn't, but I think she knew something I didn't yet know. I did as I said I was going to do and came downstairs after telling Gabe how proud I am of him. Guess where Tim is? You got it. Cuddling -- aka snoring. Oh well. I tried. :)
Anyone else have opinions about how old is too old to be snuggled with? I don't believe there are right or wrong answers, no matter how strong your opinion might be. I'm just interested in hearing (/reading) your opinions. :)
10 comments:
I struggle with the same things....even just tonight! They won't be this young forever, so we have to just enjoy it, but then again, i'm a busy working mom and I need my sleep (at least 4hrs) and sanity and sometimes chores need to be done at night once they are in bed, not to mention time to just sit for a minute...does anyone still do that because we havn't in awhile! i don't know the right answer. akv
@Amy -- thanks! No, I don't remember the last time I just sat for a minute. Right now, I'm a multitasking champion and I just want to go to bed. :)
I think you might be able to have both. Say, "I love to cuddle at night, but Mommy has so much to do, we're going to set a limit, and when 3 minutes (or whatever) are up, I'm going to give you one last hug and a kiss, and I'm going to (do whatever). I need you to be a big boy and girl and go to sleep, and I'll see you first thing in the morning." I think both Jordan and Rachel came into our bedroom until they were 10, so I obviously wasn't really very good at setting boundaries! :)
I obviously don't have the answer from much experience, but maybe you say that reading time is the official cuddle time, and spread it out for a minute or 2 on either end and then say Lights Out and get up (with loads of kisses on the way)?? That way you get the cuddle and the reading time and then you don't fall asleep. That little power cuddle-nap would kill me as well (although so would losing valuable cuddles!!!).
In the 90's!
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