Cokes, Jolly Ranchers, Strawberries, and the phat number 9!

So, Gabe was doing his homework with one Jolly Rancher in his cheek and two more on deck next to his paper. On the sly, one of our kittens, Bonnie, crept across the table to one of the Jollies and snuck off with it in her teeth. Gabe, eyes wide open in disbelief and astounded by the thief's motive, announced, "THAT is why we call them Bonnie and Clyde!"

Gabe has been super excited about math lately. On the way home from school the other night, he said, "Mom, when we get home, I'm going to work with the number 9." haha! And he's always asking us to throw math problems at him. "Okay, now let's do subtraction." It's just the cutest thing to see him get so excited about what he's learning at school.

The other morning on our way to school, Sofia started telling me:
"Mom, there was this man yesterday who didn't have a home, and he was digging through the trash, and it was very, very, very sad."
Me: Oh, that is so sad, Sofia.
Sofia: But Mom, we have a big home that is warm and we have lots of food to share.
Me: Sofia, that is very sweet, but remember that man is still a stranger. And there are special places called homeless shelters for homeless men and women and kids.
Gabe: Mom, I would like to be homeless when I turn 10.
Me: Honey, I would be so sad if you chose to run away and be homeless. How would you have money for food?
Gabe: Oh, that's easy Mom, I'd just steal it from every other car on the street.
Me (playing along): And then you'd go to jail and you wouldn't be homeless anymore. And wouldn't you be sad for those people who needed their money?
Gabe: Nah, Mom, I'd just take money from the nice cars. And besides Mom, the policemen couldn't catch me. I'm too fast. And I would've dug a big hole in the ground, and I'd go running into my hiding spot in the ground. I'd put my bed in there too.
Me: Wow. But wouldn't you be cold this time of year?
Sofia (interrupting): What if Mom and Dad moved away, Gabe, into another house?
Gabe (in typical DUH tone that he takes with his sister): I'd put my bed on their roof before they moved Sofia.
Sometimes I think my son just likes to try to shock me. :) For every question I ask, he has an answer, even if it is a wacky one. I do love that he can spin a yarn with the best of 'em!

And then Gabe can also be ridiculously responsible. Case in point: yesterday I was on the phone when I heard Gabe scolding his sister in the kitchen: "Sofia, FIRST you have to WASH that strawberry before you can eat it!" Seriously, I hope we haven't made our kids OCD about food safety and germs and whatnot! :)

But mostly Gabe makes me laugh. The other day on the way to school, he said, "Mom, that car is fat."
Me: "Which one?" He pointed to a big black suburban in front of us.
Me: "Well yeah, I guess it is pretty wide."
Gabe: "No, mom it's P-H-A-T phat."
Me (laughing): "Who taught you that word, Gabe?"
Gabe: "Dad and he said, 'Never, ever call a girl fat of either kind JUST in case.'

One last on-the-way-to-school story to share:
Gabe: Mom, why is that Coke truck going down that road?
[Don't you love the way kids think we have the answer to every question imaginable? Of course I generally try to come up with something. And, now that I think about it, that may be where he gets the very same skill!]
Me: I believe there's a private school back along that road, and the driver is probably putting more Cokes in their Coke machine.
Gabe: WHAT?! It's a private school? Does that mean you can show everyone your privates?

What I can't figure out is whether or not he really believes what he is saying or if he's just making stuff up to be funny/shocking. Probably the latter. Either way, he makes me laugh.