I've Been Quiet...

The tragedy at Sandy Hook has weighed incredibly heavily on my mind for the last two weeks, and I haven't been able to quite shake it. As a mom, watching that coverage was horrifying. I imagine watching it would be horrifying to anyone, but there was something about watching those other moms on TV -- trying to imagine what it would be like waiting for your children to come out of school -- knowing that if they don't, it probably means they're gone -- that hit too close to home.

Co-parenting is difficult when you live in the same house. Add a divorce to the mix, and well, it gets even more difficult. I texted Tim to ask if he had discussed it at all with the kids that Sunday. I felt like I needed to know how he had talked about it. He hadn't, so that made that discussion easy. I felt certain school counselors or teachers or other kids would talk to our kids about it, and I didn't want that to be the way they learned about what happened. So, after doing the requisite Internet research, I cautiously treaded into unfamiliar territory with them. I kept it brief, assured them that this was a highly unusual instance, and that while terribly sad, it was highly unlikely to happen to us. Gabe had an instance last year in which a kid brought a gun to school and showed it around (including to him), so we talked again about what to do when you see a gun.

The kids didn't have many questions. I answered the couple that they had, and when we got to school the next morning, Sofia asked if the police would be there to protect them every day. It was a lovely gesture on the local police department's part to try to make the kids feel safer that first week back to school. I told her I wasn't sure, but that they'd probably just be there this week. I tried to convey that they're safe when they're inside that building, that visitors have to be buzzed in, etc., but even I wasn't sure I felt confident saying it. The thing is, though, that anything can happen at any moment -- not just in a school -- and this is the biggest reason I'm trying not to focus on it. But it has been tough. Any time someone complains, including me, I hear another part of me hollering, "Hey! Your kids are still alive and well! What on Earth do you have to kvetch about?" And yes, I realize the irony of this statement, given my last post. I know we all have things to complain about and that some amount of complaining is healthy. But I don't need to do it in front of the kids, and for the most part, I don't. :) So, that's the part I'm trying to embrace. Focusing on having fun with them because hey, they're here! I'm here! We have LIFE to celebrate.

And with that, I say, "let's really enjoy 2013!" Let's make it the best year yet. Let's enjoy our friends and family and friends who are like family. Give hugs for no particular reason, except to let someone know you love them and you're so glad they're here.

Love to you all,
k